Stupidity Abounds

You call...gonna be all over, baby.

--Scotty Nguyen

Examples of stupidity can be found every day. When you play poker online, you can pretty much count on being bombarded with high-level stupidity. Take the following hand that occurred in a special sit-n-go on Absolute Poker today...

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Stage #108507462: Holdem Multi ARP Tournament No Limit $50 [ 2005-04-13 11:58:17 ]
**** ANTE [dealer 9] ****
Seat 1 - JSAUND22 $3345 in chips
Seat 2 - GETSOME $2395 in chips
Seat 3 - HARPER420 $4390 in chips
Seat 4 - MRJACKASS $2985 in chips
Seat 5 - ACE_KILLER $1365 in chips
Seat 6 - TRAILBOSSTED $6065 in chips
Seat 7 - MERLIN_36 $5250 in chips
Seat 8 - HIGHSWR $5920 in chips
Seat 9 - ROLAND L $2505 in chips
JSAUND22 - Post small! blind $50
GETSOME - Post big blind $100
JSAUND22 - Pocket [4s,Qd]
HARPER420 - Folds
MRJACKASS - Calls $100
ACE_KILLER - Folds
TRAILBOSSTED - Calls $100
MERLIN_36 - Folds
HIGHSWR - Raises $100 to $600
ROLAND L - Folds
JSAUND22 - Folds
GETSOME - Folds
MRJACKASS - Calls $500
TRAILBOSSTED - Calls $500
**** FLOP [Jd,4d,Jh] ****
MRJACKASS - Checks
TRAILBOSSTED - Checks
HIGHSWR - Bets $1400
MRJACKASS - Calls $1400
TRAILBOSSTED - Folds
**** TURN [Jd,4d,Jh,5h] ****
MRJACKASS - Checks
HIGHSWR - Bets $1000
MRJACKASS - All-In $985
HIGHSWR - returned ($15) : not called
**** RIVER [Jd,4d,Jh,5h,8d] ****
MRJACKASS - Calls
HIGHSWR - Calls
**** RESULT ****
Total Pot($6720)
Board [Jd,4d,Jh,5h,8d]
JSAUND22 - Folded on the POCKET CARDS
GETSOME - Folded on the POCKET CARDS
HARPER420 - Folded on the POCKET CARDS
MRJACKASS - Total ($6720) All-In HI : ($6720)Flush, jack high [5d,2d - B:Jd,B:8d,P:5d,B:4d,P:2! d]
ACE_KILLER - Folded on the POCKET CARDS
TRAILBOSSTED - Folded on the FLOP
MERLIN_36 - Folded on the POCKET CARDS
HIGHSWR - HI:Two pair, queens and jacks [Qh,Qc - P:Qh,P:Qc,B:Jh,B:Jd,B:8d]
ROLAND L - Folded on the POCKET CARDS

Now, for those of you who can't read a hand history, here's what went down. MRJACKASS is to the right of HIGHSWR, who is one to the right of the button. HIGHSWR is holding pocket queens, while MRJACKASS is holding 5d2d. MRJACKASS calls the $100 big blind, as does TRAILBOSSTED. HIGHSWR raises to $600, and it folds around to MRJACKASS, who calls! TRAILBOSSTED calls also.

The flop comes Jd,4d,Jh and MRJACKASS checks. TRAILBOSSTED checks, and HIGHSWR bets $1400. MRJACKASS calls, with a baby flush draw (!!!), and TRAILBOSSTED folds.

The turn is the 5 of hearts, and MRJACKASS checks. HIGHSWR bets $1000, and MRJACKASS calls all-in for his last $985 (with nothing but a flush draw, with a possible full house on the board!).

The river is the 8 of diamonds, giving MRJACKASS a flush to beat HIGHSWR's two pair.

What's amazing is that this guy calls all the way, calls all-in, on just a flush draw where there's a possible full house. Here's a transcript of the chat that followed:

HIGHSWR: damn, shoulda known better
HIGHSWR: i managed to stay away from that river **** all game
HIGHSWR: this site just ******* lays in wait for u
MRJACKASS: i agree been beat way too many times on the river
HIGHSWR: that **** just happens here way too often to be random
HIGHSWR: vnh tho
MRJACKASS: yes it does...and ty
JSAUND22: i thought the only screwy part of that hand was that
JSAUND22: he called all the way with 5 2
JSAUND22: lol
MRJACKASS: suited
HIGHSWR: lol, the best hand in AP
JSAUND22: oh, yeah, sooted
HIGHSWR: top pocket pair wins about 10 percent of the time
MRJACKASS: otherwise i wouldn't have

The really funny part is that HIGHSWR thinks the site's rigged against him, and MRJACKASS thinks it's just fine to call all the way with a draw to what might very well be the second best hand.

But those folks are the ones that people who actually know what they're doing make their money off of.

Idiots. Gotta love them, if for nothing else than the entertainment factor.